Top 5 Reasons I'm Never Reading SPIN Again

All of you know by now that SPIN magazine has new ownership and new staffers to make it more "youthful." When I say youthful, I mean "dumbed down." Basically, if you're over 25, you've missed the target age demographic. Since being a subscriber since 1997, I've enjoyed it's alternative take on the music world. Well, my readership will end once my $3 a year subscription ends. Here's my Top 5...

5. New editor-in-chief Andy Pemberton, who replaces Sia Michel. He has the astute resume of having helmed Blender, another mag I use to receive. He had the guidance to make the first music magazine ever to not be about music. Like other lad magazine like Stuff, FHM and Maxim, which it was trying to emulate, you would read it, enjoy it somewhat, put it in your paper recycle bin and completely forget what you just read. The new reviews section is also Blender style -- three sentences, where you sometimes learn about the music.

In his Editor's Letter, he basically says how SPIN is sexier now, because the old SPIN, which would write about good music, was not sexy. Basically, crappy, corporate produced music is sexy. Under-the-radar music is not. Deal with it, Chester. We get a ponderous page on Tim McGraw/Faith Hill and LL Cool J, who hasn't made a decent album since he kicked his porn habit.

4. The two page photo spread from a website that won't be named in this space. Yeah, it's pictures of hipsters in various states of undress, just no visible nipples. They were all asked what musical instruments they would be. After giving oral sex for cocaine and crack, they manage to say something -- just none of it witty. This spread is taking away valuable space from an American Apparel ad. So sad.

3. The articles on Chernobyl and the mass murder/raver who killed six in Seattle in March. The lad magazines use to do this also, have pages and pages of flippant text and boobies, then do a serious story. It's the equivalent of slowing down to see a horrible crash, feeling sorry for 10 seconds, then continuing with your life. I just find it sick to have stories of sex and destruction done in the guise of informing the public, when it's really published for the shock/freak factor.

2. The Spin 101 Best Parties of the Month. Because that's what's important in your life, being seen in the hottest places with all the scenesters and pretending to know about music when you really just want to do drugs, spend too much on drinks, dress bad and have unprotected sex.

1. The use of exclamation points on the cover, 8 among 42 words. Wow! It's just not sensational enough without the !!!!!!!!!! Jack White Talks, boring. Jack White Talks! That's news stand sales, baby!

No. 6 on this list would be the lack of Chuck Klosterman, who was probably let go because he can write in complete sentences and form independant thoughts.

Comments

[Rob]

AMEN!!!! (Just a few more exclamation points for you). I heard Sia had been sacked and wondered what the magazine would be like. Since I got roped into a three-year subscription to help some police group help kids play baseball, I'll be stuck with this for a while. Thanks Dial America!
I flipped through the new issue for 15 minutes and promptly placed it into recycling. Why so many profiles on random people living in NYC? I live in Philly. I don't give a crap about you and your "fashion style."
What's up with the record reviews? Starred reviews? Hmmm...wonder where they got that idea? Remember when the reviews used to be more than three sentences long and you actually got a feel for the records from them? Those were the days.
Any critique of culture that uses thermometers to measure the "hotness" of something should be immediately ignored.

[Pat]

Chuck Klosterman was asked to stay on but opted not to. There was a story on this somewhere, but I forget where about two months ago. Now he will continue to write for Esquire and work on his fourth book.

[Arya]

Well that is pretty sad that Spin has slid, or rather jumped off the deep end. I'll just keep reading Harp and Magnet and Paste and Under The Radar and Devil In The Woods and The Big Takeover and Maximum Rock and Roll instead.