My Report on The Colbert Report

I hope you don't mind me taking a small break from the snobbery just to talk about me being a guest of The Colbert Report, the wildly funny, satiric news show on Comedy Central that follows The Daily Show. It was an interesting, downright hysterical experience being a guest on the show. Well, I wasn't on the show as a guest, just invited to be in the audience. That's not true either -- I just sent in an e-mail through their website and got a response. But I did have V.I.P. front row seats. Again, me and my crew were the cutoff point a month ago because they over booked, so the people left out can come back anytime and are guaranteed a seat. As you can see, there's some truthiness to me being on The Report.

The two torturous aspects about being in a studio audience are waiting in line for hours to get into the studio and the stand-up comedian who has to warm up the audience. With me being in the front row, I'm an easy target. I usually say something stupid to provoke the comedian, but I said nothing and he went off on me. He asked me where I was from, so I said a town in New Jersey, which happens to be where Stephen Colbert lives. Of course, I'm now a stalker. Hardy har har.

Tonight's episode (11:30 tonight, 8:30 tomorrow) was the show's 100th and first after a two-week break. When Colbert comes out, he's wearing a tuxedo for the occasion. He takes questions from the audience. One guys asks if the tux was a rental, to which Colbert replies in a black accent, "Fuck no, mother fucker" and struts around. That was just gold. I would have asked if I could have gotten a ride home, which in hindsight would have been awkward for both parties involved. It would have been like that scene in The King of Comedy where Rupert Pupkin sneaks into Jerry Langford's car and they have a strange conversation. "So Stephen, I've seen you at the gym a few times, but not recently. You getting a good workout, huh? You shop at Whole Foods, too? Well, so do I."

Anyway, Stone Phillips was the guest tonight, which is not that exciting. I was hoping for a senator or Maureen Dowd, but Colbert showed a embarrassing clip of Phillips serenading Katie Couric for her farewell to the Today show. They also had a contest to see who can have more gravitias when reading headlines. I was hoping for more topical humor, but the show mostly centered of how The Report changed the world. He touched a bit on the recent influx of bear sightings and killings. The word of the day was "Me" and the great part was that he screwed up and had to do it over again. It's funny how the show is funnier in person, than seeing it on TV.

The most interesting thing that happen tonight was that there was this guy who looked familiar sitting behind me. You don't want to ask, "Hey, are you famous?" I knew it wasn't an actor or anything of that nature. It turns out it was Craig Newmark, founder of Craigslist. I thought to myself, "Wow, that's a pretty cool guy ... I have nothing to worthy to say to him or ask him." It would have been like, "Yeah, I sold used moving boxes I got for free for $50 on your site" or "Yeah, I placed a missed connections ad after seeing this beautiful girl at a Old 97's show and she did contact me and we wrote e-mails back and forth for a bit and then she left for Mexico for field work and she never wrote me back." Yeah, I would have liked to have seen his reaction. Anyway, I didn't say anything.

That's it. Back to making pithy comments.

Comments

[Craig Newmark]

Hey, I appreciate the report! but remember, for sure I'm no big deal.

thanks!

Craig

[anne]

ah, another funny post. wish I had cable.