DJ Tiesto @ Hammerstein Ballroom: Lessons Learned

I got kicked out of Hammerstein Ballroom -- what did you do tonight? No, seriously, what did you do?

Usually, when I have a good story, I leave that for the end and talk about the music itself. Not in this post. I was only at the Ballroom for 45 minutes, but it was enough time to get security angry at me.

So I didn't get kicked out literally, I was "asked to leave." I had my pro camera with me which is a big no-no at Hammerstein. No problem, got a photo pass. Well, the pass I got was not the right credentials for photo. It was good only for getting turned away no matter where I go. When I tried sneaking photos in the middle. I got the dreaded tap on the shoulder. I was public enemy No. 1. Forget about the people smoking indoors or freebasing crack, it was all eyes on the blogger. The final warning for me was when I tried going into the balcony. The guy was about to read me the riot act ("we can ask you...") when I just walked away. I didn't feel like being berated. Cut my losses. Go home, watch MythBusters and drink cucumber water. It was going to happen sooner or later to me. I once got kicked out of the Rutgers library for talking to loud and I got kicked out of a casino for underage gambling.

I know what you're thinking, why did you, Mr. Indie Rock, go to a techno show? Easy answer, from the footage I've seen, DJ Tiesto is sensory overload. The multi-million dollar visuals, six story tall back projection, thousands of lights, lasers, pyrotechnics, acrobatics and live singers set to this pounding beat. There's a bunch of YouTube clips (with one clip with 5 million views) that display his shows in Europe where half a million people just go to dance and be a part of the spectacle. Also, a lot of people told me how fun he was at Coachella. It's like a trance-fueled Las Vegas show. I figure it would be an adventure and the photos would be amazing. The pounding music only works with these visuals, by itself I wouldn't listen to it.

For the ten minutes I did see uninterrupted, it was sensory overload. The show starts with a deep-voiced narrator talking about the elements like a science film you see in a museum, "In a world where fire and ice live together..." Then Tiesto springs up behind the decks and -- I am not making this -- fireworks went off INDOORS. I'm not talking sparklers, I'm talking shooting up from the stage and exploding in the air over the crowd. I'd like to know how this is legal.

Keep in mind -- this city just had a street explode 12 blocks away and now things are blowing up good in an enclosed hall. Then, even more appropriate, various machines were shooting steam into the air. I'm sure I wasn't the only one who made this observation.

The part I really wanted to see was that the Blue Man Group was suppose to perform along side Tiesto. That would have been wild. I don't think Tobias Funke is part of the Blue Men anymore. As I write this, the show is still going on.

It wasn't meant to be. I'll stick to the rock shows. Obviously, it's completly not my crowd -- it was all the bridge and tunnel crowd. Technically, I am a bridge and tunnel guy, but I'm not THAT guy. I wasn't wearing Armani Exchange or Ambercrombie & Finch. It wasn't packed, but a lot of people running back and forth to refuel at the bar. It was a good people watching crowd.

Lesson learned: stick to live dance shows with words Daft or Punk in the title. Tomorrow, the nice friendly atmosphere of Neko Case at Summerstage and then Siren Festival. Note: I have to ditch on Battles, they won't be on until 12:30am and I need to be up early for Siren.

Comments

[bob]

Those Tobias/blue man episodes are classics.

[sarah]

oh dude. i feel your pain. i was kicked out of an interpol show last night. for having a camera. not even warned, just a "let's go" and having my camera grabbed by another security meathead who proceeded to reformat my camera EIGHT TIMES. the irony in this is that i might not have bothered with a camera in the first place, but the band put out a call for live fan photos of the tour. meanwhile, i'm sure all the cameraphone people amidst me got to keep their shots...

[sarah]

ps. kudos on the tobias blue man reference. :}

[MusicSnobbery]

Michael: "Tobias, you're blue."
Tobias: "Only on the outside, Michael."

did you have to pay for the photo pass? You can just go up and get one? how does that work...

My camera was snatched by a security guard at Highline ballroom. The dude just grabbed it, no warning, and told me I could get it after the show.

[Ryan]

I was at that show on Friday night, and someone with a professional camera and huge lens took a picture of me and my buddies from the first balcony level on the left-hand side. If this could have possibly been you I'd like to see that photo and if it's of good quality possibly purchasing it from you.

[asshat]

First of all no one in the dance scene wears Ambercrombie & Finch. That's the dumbest thing I've ever heard. Second, it's in Tiesto's contract that no professional cameras are allowed and no videos on stage or near the stage unless it's a paid photographer working for the club or Tiesto's management. A lot of artists have contracts regarding this, and you should be happy that the club actually abides by these contracts, at least, as a DJ, I'm happy.