Oh man. I can't believe 2012 is over with, and what a year it was. First off, the Mayans were somewhat right, so Australia is no longer on my must-visit list. Obama beat the Santorum/Bristol Palin ticket. I saw The Dark Knight Rises 33 times. Then we have that Lana Del Rey chick, you might have heard of her. In case you didn't, let's take a look back on her 2012.
January 14 -- She makes her U.S. TV debut on Saturday Night Live, and causes controversy by ripping up a picture of Justin Bieber and yelling, "Fight the real enemy!"
January 30 -- Nineteen year-old art school students from across the nation are up at midnight to download her debut album. Then went back to watching Twin Peaks on repeat and updating their Facebook status, "Just downloaded LDR album, I feel like making cupcakes, my cat won't start scratching my futon."
February 20 -- In a probing and insightful cover story for Spin Magazine, Lana Del Rey talks about her difficult childhood being the daughter of a millionaire who funded her career. "The girls in my boarding school would make fun of me ... I was awkward, unpopular." The interview revealed her fear of fame, her overnight success that was out of her control and living up to the Lana Del Rey image -- typical white girl problems.
March 13 -- She pops up on TMZ, sucking face with Jake Gyllenhaal.
April 5 -- At her sold out show at Terminal 5, she storms off the stage after four songs -- blaming the sound mix. Thousands of trust fund kids and chubby media types take to twitter to show their displeasure in emoticons and abbreviations.
May 22 -- Her song "Video Games" is used in the finale for The Bachelor, creating a new set of fans among the suburban soccer mom set.
June 8 -- At Bonnaroo, her people tell everybody to keep 15 feet away from her at all times and orders the backstage to be emptied so her entourage can hang out and look important.
July 10 -- Lana signs a contact with Revlon to be their spokesperson, promptly debuts her new line of cosmetics, just like her heroes Frank Sinatra and Kurt Cobain would do.
August 20 -- After a series of European festivals, Lana cancels the rest of her tour for exhaustion. The Sun later finds Lana on a beach in France with Ryan Gosling.
September 29 -- Del Rey makes her acting debut on a episode of Gossip Girl as a spoiled supermodel.
November 11 -- Tired of the living in Brooklyn, she moves to Los Angeles, because, as she says, "it's where real people live."
December 1 -- Upon learning of her Grammy nomination for Best New Artist, she says to the New York Times, "I don't know. I mean. It's kind of heavy. It's like people think of me in a certain way, but I'm not that person. Sometimes I cry about it, the thought of people thinking about me can do that. When that happens, I have a secret place where I hide. It's comforting. It's like, you know ... weird."
Writer's note: This will be my only post/mention of Lana Del Rey ... enjoy it.
umm, that was 2011.. funny concur though, and please stick to your promise of this being the last mention.
Posted by: pete | January 06, 2012 at 11:16 AM
-Writer's note: This will be my only post/mention of Lana Del Rey ... enjoy it.
At least you made it a good one
Posted by: Donald | January 07, 2012 at 09:51 PM
hahahahahha wait this is genius
Posted by: poopstick | January 10, 2012 at 09:39 PM