I'm pleased to report tonight that the #STOPLMFAO2012 movemnent is stronger than ever. Forty-million have viewed the video, $12 million in donations and the bracelet has been seen on celebrities on the red carpet.
Then tonight, a douchebag event was to take place at the Wellmont Theatre called the Barstool Blackout Tour. At around 8pm, scores of imprisoned little girls dressed in day-glo tank tops and fuck me pumps with painted tribal war paint and boys dressed in wife beaters and trucker hats descended on Montclair. They were met with freedom fighters of the #STOPLMFAO2012 movement dressed at police officers. The end result, around 9pm, the rave was shut down. The area was a little ugly, ambulances were called, other police towns were brought and the air was thick with Axe body spray.
As of this writing, the area is incident free, but the crusade continues. Write your local congressmen and tell them that douchebags will not be tolerated in the U.S.A.
Okay, joking aside. Here's my stupid story. As you might know, I live within earshot of the Wellmont. I went out to get lottery tickets and saw the gathering crowds heading to the Wellmont. The Barstool Blackout Tour is basically a touring rave that hits up colleges. You know, bad music, underage drinking, sexual assaults -- the stuff your parents will be proud of. I went into a liquor store and there was some kid waiting outside. It was right out of that scene in American Graffiti where Toad asks people going into a liquor store to buy him booze.
In any event, I went back to MS.com HQ. I started to hear constant sirens, so I went outside to check it out. I see a bunch of people screaming and lights around the Wellmont. A mixed group of douches (or douchi) were laughing and screaming. "Fuck yeah, fuck you, Barstool." That was it. No violence that I saw, just fashion crimes against humanity.
NJ.com has the full story. Arrests, some fights, mace ... the same thing that happens when Whole Foods runs out of quinoa.
Wait until Regina Spektor plays in a few weeks. They might need to call the National Guard.