Hello, my name is Chris. You know me best as a blogger, DJ, concert promoter, music snob and eater of fine cheeses. I'm also a concerned American citizen.
Right now as I type this, you are either at a concert, listening to music on your iPhone, tweeting your BFFs or updating your cat's Facebook status. What if you can use that time to make a difference? Make your voice heard?
Humanity's greatest desire is to connect to one another. Now we do that everyday. We see pictures from around the globe, of the world's longest wedding dress ... an edited video of Hitler freaking out over the Tebow trade ... a picture of a dog with pancakes on its head.
The next few paragraphs might change the world around you.
This is my one-year old son, Jarvis. That's me on the left, and my beautiful wife Nigella. Jarvis was born in a pretty complicated world. There's so much influential music to listen to, so much of it is bad. He might not comprehend it now, but the music that's being played might bring down civilization.
My life was changed two years ago on an expedition I took to the far off country of Paramus, NJ. I went on a humanitarian mission to teach English to local children. What I saw at a local village called the Paramus Mall shocked me. Children, as young as 10, wearing baggy, day-glo colored parachute pants, ill-fitting tank tops, t-shirts that said "I'm In the Band, B!TCH" and thick, over-sized glasses with clear lenses that they don't even need to wear. They spoke in a weird dialact, some sort of appreviated English. They couldn't even speak in complete sentences. Phrases like, "Ahh-igjht" "Fo reaaaaaals" and "Wuuuud up, bbbizzznitch".
I thought of my son. What would happen to him if started looking and talking like that? What if some evil person turned him into a slave?
My guide, Alejandro, explained to me that these children of Paramus Mall, and other villages like Cherry Hill, King of Prussia and Short Hills are what the locals call, the Douchebag Squad. One group is responsible for turning children like Michael Smith (father a dentist, mother a real estate agent) and Felicity Carter (prep school stand-out) into douchebags with names like michaelsexxxy69 and felicityhottie91.
The name of the group is LMFAO, a powerful, well-funded organization. It's been going on for years. From wikipedia -- LMFAO is an American electro pop duo consisting of rappers, singer-songwriters, producers, dancers and DJs Redfoo (Stefan Kendal Gordy, born September 3, 1975) and his nephew SkyBlu (Skyler Austen Gordy, born August 23, 1986). The group formed in 2006 in Los Angeles, California. RedFoo is also the son of music mogul Berry Gordy, and SkyBlu is his grandson. Their music incorporates a theme of partying and drinking, and the group commonly refers to their music style as "party rock". The group's name is an Internet slang abbreviation for "Laughing My Fucking Ass Off".
I had to do something. How could something like this happen in America? Children and teenagers' lives are being taken away from them, all to line the pockets of corporate America. The idea of a nation of douchebag children shakes me to my very core.
So I've decided to start a movement. #STOPLMFAO2012. It's simple. Tell every person you know that LMFAO is the worst music in modern history. Tweet it. Put it on Facebook. Pininterest it. Right now thousand of fliers are being put up across the nation. We can not stand-by and watch as our culture are being humiliated with this mind-numbing, fucked-up crap.
When will it stop? I don't know. I do know this. Failure is not an option. Do it for your unborn children. Do it for a child you see on the street. Stopping LMFAO will show generations to come that bad music and clownish douchebaggery has no place in our society.